101mutts

Everything Possible

We have cleared off the table, the leftovers saved,
Washed the dishes and put them away
I have told you a story and tucked you in tight
At the end of your knockabout day
As the moon sets its sails to carry you to sleep
Over the midnight sea
I will sing you a song no one sang to me
May it keep you good company.

CHORUS:
You can be anybody you want to be,
You can love whomever you will
You can travel any country where your heart leads
And know I will love you still
You can live by yourself, you can gather friends around,
You can choose one special one
And the only measure of your words and your deeds
Will be the love you leave behind when you're done.

There are girls who grow up strong and bold
There are boys quiet and kind
Some race on ahead, some follow behind
Some go in their own way and time
Some women love women, some men love men
Some raise children, some never do
You can dream all the day never reaching the end
Of everything possible for you.

Don't be rattled by names, by taunts, by games
But seek out spirits true
If you give your friends the best part of yourself
They will give the same back to you.

You can be anybody you want to be,
You can love whomever you will
You can travel any country where your heart leads
And know I will love you still
You can live by yourself, you can gather friends around,
You can choose one special one
And the only measure of your words and your deeds
Will be the love you leave behind when you're done.

Notes: This is a song by Fred Small, a UU from Littleton, MA. Mother sang this to me as a lullaby and it is my favorite lullaby. And Kent sang it at my Coming of Age. I've been humming the chorus recently and wanted the rest of the words. I was thinking Elizabeth might consider singing it to Elijah...

Here's a video of it. http://www.last.fm/music/Fred+Small/_/Everything+Possible

So, I have officially changed my journal to friends only. Mainly because I want to know who is reading. It's slightly scary that anyone can access it even if it isn't easy. I think if I am sure of who's reading I'll be able to put in ALL thoughts and censor myself less if at all. Then, this can become a full replacement for my word document journal for most things. Please don't hold me to things stated here. I am using it as a place to put my thoughts and feelings of the moment. I give them full permission to change and don't have a doubt that they will. I plan to keep all France posts in public and will leave many of the shorter posts in public. Will probably put some of the longer, more personal posts under friends only. Happy reading! I look forward to comments from those who continue to read.

I plan to write tomorrow. Write prolifically. Write about the Native American field trip. Write about last weekend. Write about the past week. Write more of Brita. Or write something new I'm inspired to.

I also plan to get through a lot of the small odds and ends that I have failed to do on my To-Do-List. Luckily, I can't think of any dragons to slay (or rather rehabilitate). Homework is at a minimum. Plans are at a minimum. Dogs, thank you letters, emails, files and others will hopefully be attended to.

We'll see how well I do. If I actually manage the writing goal, I'll see how many words I can write in a  day. I shall try to have fun!

And on the day formerly known as Columbus day I am seeing friends in Boston. That should be fun. Much games playing.

Busyness. Now Homework to do. Quite a bit actually. Today I attended an oppressive Yom Kippur service, practiced procrastinating and kything (very fun and good for my soul if not my sleeping schedule), helped with dinner prep, superb agility sessions with both dogs, Fabulous dinner, and miles to go before I sleep. Thank Goddess it's only 7:30.

I think I will soon set this journal to "friends only" just so I know who's reading and don't have to self-censor what I put in posts. If you do read regularly and don't have a livejournal account please get one. I think I'll reset it over next weekend. Thanks, Shaya

Okay, great agility session with Opie. Changed clothes since they got all wet from the wet grass and now to homework. Then dinner, backgammon, vacuuming, put in a laundry load now. All mundane stuff.

I did stretch, spend time with dogs, send in RT time sheet and work on the journal. So it's a start.

And  yes perhaps I wasn't being kind enough to myself. Thanks for the reminder, EG.

Hah, I have a third of the Native American post written. Be forewarned, it's long so I won't edit it. Now to agility first, than hw, then cleaning. Perhaps cleaning first since I need daylight. Love it when words flow through my fingers, really the easiest way to write.

I wish Elizabeth and Kiwi a good night and healthy thougths if I don't speak to either of  you again tonight.

Hopefully working on journal.

Brief natural high and influx of energy brought on from training responsive canines. Surprising, really because I didn't know sick Shaya could get natural highs. Apparently she can. This is good news!

8:05 Just got back from Rebecca's. Uh wow! Okay I have so much to type up, most going into my personal journal. And I haven't even made any progress on the field trip.

I do have homework and vacuuming but not the type of energy for either and the writing is more important to me. Plus, doing things when I have energy to be doing something else is rarely a good use of time.

8:56 Have not been able to write anything of worth. A short email or two which were decent  but nothing else! Guess I'll just find time tomorrow. Wonder if I'll end up going to Boston to see a friend with Mother, since Elizabeth is sick again. Poor Elizabeth. Wonder if I'll go to church. Apparently, Savta (Michael's mother, my grandmother) is helping with the toddlers so someone is probably going. That would be good for me spiritually I believe, but it would also mean I'd need to be diligent on homework, vacuuming and stretching and no filing onto computer. Course I could fit it all in if I really wanted to, but not sure if I do! 

Opal is in and waiting for dinner. I know, I know, this is way too late for them to eat. Guilty that I didn't work on agility.  

I'm back from the Wampanoag sleepover trip. It was truly amazing! Lots of facts, fun, an immerison in the 1600s, a cute weaver guy, long spiritual discussion, and 40 minutes worth of Ms. Schultz talking about her Holocaust trip this summer.

Records:
I think I asked over 50 questions in 24 hours.
Spoke to 4 teachers and 1 guidance counselor (beyond a hi) in my 20 minute lunch period Thursday (needless to say I finished my lunch on the bus). Mrs. Cooper, Mr. Kraby, Mrs. Braverman, Ms. Fraser, Mrs. Steele. Some of the usual supsects but not all!

This could be short. Sort of doubt that but we'll see.

So Rosh Hashannah first. We went up to Summerville with Lilly and Jonathon Gutoff, our friends, and Savta, my grandmother, to Havarat Shalom which is a Jewish community that holds services and is in a house. Their was a shelf of shoes at the front, which I thougth was cool, and so I was barefoot for the entire service. Nice wood floor and so much easier to stand for the fifteen minute stretches barefoot. Lots of Hebrew with minimal Hebrew translation (Hebrew words written phonetically in English). In their binder of prayers a lot of the translations into English were really great and felt UU but with more God language. There was one basic prayer translated into Our Goddess. That impressed me. The community felt nice and I'd be interested in going to a Shabbat service or one of the other more communal services. Wonder what we'll do for Yom Kippur.

Then we all went to Zaftig's which is a great Jewish deli type place in Brookline. The wait wasn't too long. I got brisket and latkes which were really great. A lot of Jews, there! Just not any super Orthodox ones because they wouldn't be eating out. Went to Ten Thousand Villages and then home. I slept in the way home. I used to not be able to sleep in the car but now I may have overtrained myself to. Stayed up late writing conflicted emotions in my personal journal that I didn't want floating around my head for another day! 

And now for today:


In study Mrs. Brown told me that my class didn't take the test yesterday because of a freshman assembly. i wasn't at school Tuesday, because of Rosh Hashannah and was planning to take it today in study. I thought she had just mixed up the grade and agreed that I'd take it with the class. Then, I'm walking to Steele's class from Computer and Mrs. Brown is walking toward me. She said "You're going to hit me." So I veered to the side because we were like five steps away from each other and she moved back into my path. Then she insists that I'll hit her and takes my hand to bat her on the head. It was pretty funny if a little weird at that moment. Apparently everyone did take the test yesterday and she had just gotten it mixed up with another class. So I took it during the period which was fine. They went over the answers in class which if I had taken it in study I could have sat through it with my graded test, but oh well. Think that's the only subject I have any homework in, other than studying. Okay, so a cute Brown moment. I was psyched to not have to be affected by her energy for 45 minutes.

Fraser swept by twice today in her colorful warm colors (brown, red...) skirt with pursed lips. I just smiled. Typical Fraser.

Steele's class consisted of telling stories of everyone's stupidity and injuries resulting from it. Easy to tell who was a good storyteller and who wasn't. It is an art. I was thinking that really I don't have many of those stories and am pretty careful. Steele has dislocated her daughter's shoulder three times, broke her other daughter's collar bone and front teeth, broke her own ankle weeding her perrenial garden, caught her hair on fire in a hot tub, and a large number of things in a similar vein. John's story topped it though. He was at Thanksgiving dinner and his shoelace got caught on the leg of his grandmother's antique table from the 17th century. He got up and the table leg broke, all the food and china smashed to the floor and the Oriental rug was stained too. He has a lot of money in his family.  

I need to prepare for the Native American field trip. Got a list of what to bring, which is good.

Didn't get to ride after school. Had an Equal Exchange Fundraising Advisory Teem conference call which lasted over an hour, then a dog walk and here I am with fewer and fewer excuses to stay on. Right, I need to do some agility while there is sun.

I love the fall air!

Watched To Sir With Love last night which was very good. Trained Tom, Stretched, and stayed up until 1 finishing the story. It topped out at 11 pages. Hah, and I thought it was 3/4 of the way done at 4 pages. I don't really like it but I think it's the subject and the way it turns out more than anything else. If I were to send it to anyone I'd probably have to expand some parts that have a lot of between the line reading. And then it would get to be very long.

IMed with Kiwi. Made raspberry pancakes this morning which were very good but raspberries aren't the ideal fruit for pancakes. Sad that I can't see Elizabeth, hopefully next week. Sent Kiwi the story. Stretch, homework, call Rebecca, more Tom training, and perhaps making vegan cassoulet for dinner with Liza's help, though we'll probably vegetarianize it. 

Outside there is this great after-the-rain feeling. Yesterday, I went outside to see how the raspberries bushes were doing and saw a hawk on the fence post outside the sheep pen. It was really cool to see. It quickly flew off, but I got a glimpse of it. Maybe if it doesn't rain more I'll take the dogs for a walk since they are dying for an outing. 

Wrote for a long while. Started a new story. This one's main character is Minerva. I've been naming stories by their main characters. Finding an all encompassing name that is interesting is difficult. Perhaps I'll give a link to read it soon. Or you can request me to email it. I now have three and a half pages written. Still has some sad undertones, just as Brita definitely does! So creative writing was a good thing to do.

WBUR is fundraising so I still need to stretch, so annoying when they do. Rebecca is sick. Haven't seen her in way too long. Hope she feels better and we can work something out. Seeing Elizabeth tomorrow. Yeah! Very happy!

Working again Monday. Growls (after working Thursday and Friday). Tom is coming to school. Then, Tuesday is Rosh Hashannah, Wednesday school as usual, and Thursday and Friday are the Wampanoag Field Trip. Interesting week! 

Sent many emails and received some back. Did English hw but not Chem or algebra or Tom training.

To shower, clay figure, prepare for tomorrow, send pic for Cafe Vet for me! 

Did hw outside which was nice. Guess I'm working on Math on the bus tomorrow. Picked raspberries. Thought. (although when do I not think) Dinner. Joked around. Snorted.

Sleep?

Today was great! I had absolutely nothing planned and got quite a bit done. Studied chem, vacuumed entire house, drew a beautiful purple pansy, had two great dog training sessions. Tom was amazing and worked for me for a long time. I think part of it is that he realizes how much he likes my attention when I don't give him enough attention on a daily basis. And I do think he likes tricks. My attention has become part of positive reinforcement. If he doesn't want to work, Shaya will stop training and go back to her TDL so working with me keeps my attention and therefor is a reward. He even did some off-leash agility which really surprised me because he usually runs off in the yard and goes for rabbits. Opal played agility but quit pretty quickly which was okay.

I was alone in the house for the afternoon which pleased me. I like being alone because I get to pick the music and can do whatever I want without interuption. I'm so much more productive. Picked a weird mix for a 5 disc shuffle: Girlyman, Wicked, Ben Folds Five, Patty Larkin and Celtic Women. Mother got Liza a new Girlyman CD. I'll have to add that as well as Juno soundtrack and the Kimya Dawson and They Might be Giants stuff to my mp3.

Liza and I just connected really well in a conversation. More happiness. I sometimes have difficulty combining sillyness with suggestions and the feeling I want to give advice. I know, bad Shaya, I should just be quiet and let her make mistakes even if they are so easily preventable.

For a study tomorrow: print, highlight, and read Nature article for presentation, Dale hw, review Chem notes, and add to Brita.

Now to find vet papers so Tom and Opie can go to school and stretch.

Tomorrow I have my one day off of the week. Yeah!

Finished up RT at 6:30. Felt useful and again the time went quickly. I was slower and more inclined to double check this time. I can do it faster and still be accurate if I'm in the correct mood but can't force myself to and still be accurate. Listened to my mp3. Need to put more music on, but was nice to requaint myself  with what I have on there. I like doing it and then of course there is the whole getting paid part. Kate talked to me about cats. I felt tears in the corners of my eyes. So sad. I saw her eyes sparkle too, with something that wasn't just the light. She's going to see one of Elizabeth's cats, and found an ad on Craig's List for Pablo. Such a coincidence!

Today was decent. I was a little tired. In math Ms. Fraser peered into the room with a bemused expression and I was wondering what she was thinking. I did well on my two Chem tests I got back. No comment on the hw that I passed in that Kiwi had written out all the questions. Didn't study for English test, lots of finicky grammar things that studying wouldn't have helped for. I think I got about an 85. Mrs. Steele is planning a trip to Salem. We did plays in class today. Good dog video in Cafe Vet. I like Mrs. McKenna. I think today is the easiest day in the rotation, for me. No doubles, and I have a study. Wrote a few lines of Brita in computer. It's so long I have to go back and skim the previous pages to remember everything. I should make an outline of events and rules to fairy living.  

Had a dream about Mrs. Brown and Ms. Fraser, it was really interesting. I was in Mrs. Brown's class, but in the Ag Mech building and she was gently arguing with me over something. And she didn't pull any teacher looks or authority walls. Then everyone left, to lunch presumably, and she comforted me over something, perhaps that I was too sensitive with what we were arguing about. In any case, I felt better. Walked down the fire escape stairs that in real life don't exist. Ms. Fraser was sitting at a picnic table outside with some students I didn't recognize, freshman perhaps. She and I talked for a minute and it was very pleasant and felt that we were on the same level. And that is all I remember. Strange that I remembered the dream so clearly especially because I usually only remember dreams occasionally and only when I don't use an alarm.

Angel just told me "you rock!" Big smiles.

Now, I'm tired. We went to Providence. I brought all my homework supplies except my calculator. Did a little on Chem and Alg and Cafe Vet. Probably have half an hour to an hour left on them and I'll do at least one essay tonight. I do have a study tomorrow.

Went to church. It was great. Photo-copied some of the hymns I've been singing but didn't have any clue of the words for. Met new choir director, Jeannie (sp?) is on a sabbatical. She seemes pleasant and calmer. Talked to Rebecca and was very happy to reconnect since we didn't actually get together. Said hi to Carole and Kara and Katie and a few others and that was it. 
 
Went to Providence for Savta's birthday. Nice French-sort-of brunch place. Really good food, not super expensive. Then to the Providence Place Mall to get her perfume. I found it so weird that I was actually in a mall since I usually try to avoid all shopping especially malls. Liza and Mother went to see Kung-Fu Panda in North Attleboro. I need a nap.